*************************
Created at 2:48 PM
*************************
| Saturday, May 14, 2011
Recently been having a lot of (don't know what word to use) with the girls in my life.
One grouchy. As if I'm owing her something. Hey I do my best to accommodate ok? Even I also get frustrated too but I try not to show it. One wrong move and you will see me explode like you have never seen before.
One treating me in the same way as someone I know treats her husband. The Great Wall.
One always three minutes degree hot. Enthusiastic in a moment, and totally throwing it off the next.
One keeps joking about marriage with random boys. It doesn't reflect well you know, even if everyone knows it is a joke.
One treats me for granted. The more I think of it, the more stupid I felt I am.
And almost every girl I know is late or rarely on time.
Basket, my first week of holidays totally ruined. I'm not in the very mood to enjoy it. I totally forgot to check my scheduler and went ahead to book tickets for movie with Sokpeng and Priscilla. I'm supposed to be coordinator for the Bridging Lights birthday for the same day and time but I've forgotten. Because of this error on my part, - Had to go out of my way to collect the tickets at cathay and head back home because they require the person who booked to be the one who collect. - Am going to waste 11dollars because there isn't someone to buy my ticket - Have to squeeze out time to pass the ticket to Sokpeng - The time will have to come in between morning cell group and making of dumplings for the potluck birthday
- Morning cell now may be cancelled. One is very late as usual, one is not coming if it is just two person, one is resting at home because of other commitments, two no reply. What about me? - Mum even offered to cook porridge for the group and now I told her not to. - Mum is supposed to guide me on making the dumplings before she heads to work but this will be cut short as I have to meet Sokpeng before her class starts at 3.30pm
I am so super busy during all the weekends and it will really help if everyone, including myself can stick to the promises. This is as stressful as examinations last week. I am beginning to wonder do their menstrual cycle starts on the same date?
AND I have tons of tasks not yet done. - Contacting Jeanette. I felt bad for dragging this for so long. - Contacting water dispenser companies for quotes on them. - Look at English courses at British Council. - Play Dragon Age 2
*************************
Created at 9:22 AM
*************************
| Saturday, April 30, 2011
Had a good chat with Julia.. Although she didn't offer me any advice on what I should do, but from the conversation, I want to have a good chat with Him again. I am confused.
On a side note away from the issue, I'm getting quite irritated with how some people are acting. Twitter and facebook are both becoming places where intellectual people whom I know, makes unintellectual comments. More like an avenue for them to release the slightest displeasure to them and it becomes so addictive for them to just complain about every single little nonsense that appear. Are you wanting attention that badly? I mean a good number is like a tweet in 5-6hours? Can you see those people who tweet at least once in every 30 minutes? Reading the newspaper about politics are way better than those half-baked comments on every single little things. At the very least, the person I'm voting for, has a say in what builds the workforce which I am going to enter in 2 years time. I have to start looking further into my future and see what it has to offer for me.
In fact, those that rarely tweet but with the occasional wise words are what a person with a normal life should do.
"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." 1 Thessalonians 5:11.
I remembered Sokpeng told me that it is very interesting to see what people is up to, when she was trying to introduce twitter to me. But I'm getting the negative vibes on knowing what nonsense people are complaining and up to.. Can anyone tell me if you feel your life is interesting enough that you won't even have time to spend on making mindless unedifying speech?
I am cranky for the few days. Very cranky. And I dislike it when you don't know or choose to ignore. And I dislike it even more because I know I can't blame you. I don't know what I should do.
I hope I can keep myself controlled until this subside. Else the church people might have to bear it this weekend for the first time.
*************************
Created at 2:23 AM
*************************
| Friday, April 29, 2011
I'm not iron man. I need comfort and concern too..
*************************
Created at 4:18 PM
*************************
I don't know why I allow myself to fall into this hole again. I don't want to bang into a dead end just when I manage to get out of it months ago..
How Dora how?
*************************
Created at 12:50 AM
*************************
| Thursday, April 28, 2011
Finally an english song that I've randomly found and is lyrically meaningful.
Have you ever work so hard for something and when you get the intrinsic reward, you start igniting like a firework and cry? I did, when I was in NS. Though I did not cry out but tears of joy came.
So are you wasting your life away? Thinking that just be on the 50% will be alright, even when you know you have the potential to do better, but choose to believe that as if you have already placed in 100% but can give 200% whenever you want to, just whether you want to. So when are you gonna ever want to even do your best, if you don't even start doing it with smaller things now?
My first 22 years of life is a regret. But I've regretted almost nothing for the past year and half. Because I did my best and people can see it. I think the lyrics is really meaningful.
Well, not that I wanna bash those twitter netizens but I certainly hear their thoughts much more louder than their actions. And those people who are living to their fullest don't even need to have twitter to connect with people; they are constantly surrounded by people who are inspired by these fireworks in them.
Look to surround yourselves with people who do positive stuff, who realizes your potential and challenges you to use it, to force you to grow and learn, most importantly ignite that spark in you.
What is the use of potential when it is all not used? At this point it reminds me of procrastinators are the best workers who work under stress and being able to deliver. Not that I'm proud to say I'm a procrastinator, but instead of relying on the fact that procrastinators are good for that last 3 days of project deadline, why not make it such that you are good all the while and push yourself to be that good for all the way. Procrastinators are smart, but why not diffuse it with hardwork to attain what you really seek, instead of believing "I can do it if I put in my best, but I just don't feel like doing it now, because I'm smart"
This semester, instead of leaving 3 days of crucial studies, I am currently in 14 days using the same amount of effort each day as with the last 3 days. It is very tiring but I really laughed when I saw the exam paper because my hard work have paid off. It is not a matter of whether the standard of the exam is easy or hard but the fact that I'm really getting what I want after I put in this amount of work. The satisfaction far outshines whatever excuses that procrastinators can come up with.
With two hands, I can count the number of people who actually implied that RMIT is a lousy school. "RMIT exams very hard meh?" "Oh chey---- RMIT" "UOL is much better in standard and those people who fail in UOL should get distinction in RMIT"
Though I felt angered at times at how people look down on my school, they refuse to look at my efforts, but I am really proud in myself. These half-baked people who choose to look down on us and yet refuse to compare themselves with the "cream of crop" NUS, are nuts. Students who failed in UOL, will fail in any other school. Why? Look at the amount of effort some people are willing to put in. Last 2 weeks of full geared study for a year's worth of university education and they expect to pass? Please don't make the NTU NUS students laugh. The reason I'm in RMIT is because of my regret in poly education for not studying hard enough. If I can get into NUS, I would have done it to my best as like now.
Until the day those people who made those snide comments can prove to me they are giving in more effort and better than I do, I am not interested in them nor their remarks. Ask any undergraduate or graduates and you will know how comfortable it is to get a relatively good grade with good effort but how crazily hard it is to get the highest grade constantly for all modules. The gradient at the end of the curve is almost 0 as it gets higher. Talk about the Law of Diminishing Returns.
Hard work is what everyone can do, but not everyone is blessed with being smart.
Which reminds me of this scenario in ancient China, where a scholar chooses to stay at home and gives little speeches to his farming friends. And so, his friends urge him to take the Imperial Exam in such that he can help improve the lives of the people when he becomes an Official. But the scholar laughed at the thought and replied that he can do it easily and much better than the current ones. But evidently he is not doing anything at all. And his friend pointed out that in the very least, the current Official is doing something rather than him making such remarks. And his friends left him and said, "if only I have the intelligence that you have."
Believe that you are a brilliant firework waiting to ignite.
Do look up the lyrics for the song. And lastly, everything I've done would not have been a success if not for God.
*************************
Created at 1:23 AM
*************************
| Sunday, April 24, 2011
Happy Easter!!
The choir for the Easter Vigil mass is quite good. Can see effort in it too. For a very few songs, the melody singers were overpowered by the parts though.. making the song quite confusing to follow.
And quite proud of the 3 girls from the ministry who went up to be Psalmist amongst the choir.
Elizabeth's voice sounded much fuller and mature, compared to when she sang for the Christmas Caroling. If anything to improve, it will be that her response can be more confident and did not rush for some parts.
Gabriella's voice was trembling though. Can hear it quite obvious. Her tune was good. I guess because of stage fright, she did not end each verse fully but ran out of breath easily. But still, I am proud of her that she dare to do it infront of at least a few hundred people present there. I did it once before and the feeling was quite appalling. A very good experience for her.
Esther's tuning was good. One major habit is that she likes to slur her words. And she have a good pitch but lack a little support. She will be a good powerhouse if she can somehow get the hang of that support. If I were to close my eyes and listen, I can only identify 3/10 words she sang, which is not so good. Haha if you are seeing this, its just a comment from a listener (me). Nonetheless your confidence is the best out of the 3. Bite each syllable and use support, and you will be great.
*************************
Created at 1:56 AM
*************************
| Saturday, April 23, 2011
I am feeling it again while I was showering and letting the water fall on my hair.
I need some answers. It would be a pleasant surprise I believe, though more from the element of mystery if I did anticipate but just wait and not ask for answers. But still, it is hard to go against the way we are and to put our human nature down.
Ask and it shall be given. Seek and you shall find.
So far most of the things I've asked, with the grace of God, have been given to me to do deeds for Him. Except a few, such as the Love partner of my life and some other personal stuff. And these few, I have been seeking for quite some time and yet can't find.
Maybe I am not meant to have it. Maybe all I have to do is wait. Maybe He wants me to realize something, which I have not, before He will grant it. Maybe the way I am now, I am still not mature/grown enough to get it and will only spoil His plans. Must be some really high level stuff lol. And maybe it is something else which my small mind cannot fathom.
This phrase is my favorite and Nimmi identified it to be from Mother Theresa. Its in the form of a T-shirt that I saw in Johor but sadly did not have my size. I really love it.
*************************
Created at 5:19 PM
*************************
| Sunday, April 10, 2011
My new project for Talentime this december Maybe a capella? But a pianist will be needed? 3 females 2 males?
*************************
Created at 4:16 PM
*************************
| Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Malacca trip was fun.
Pictures are on facebook yeah.
On a side note: Sometimes I feel the more I mix with some youths and some young adults, the older I feel as I see them trying to find their purpose and getting "satisfaction" from those things they do. Not that I have not done any but I feel really sad when you see the way they act and the things they say.
I see people thinking they are that great and does "cool" things which gives them a false sense of freedom and fulfillment. I see people who use others as a lifeline but yet treats them nonchalantly when there isn't a need. I see people who are confused over what they want. I see people who keeps blaming everything but not doing anything and falls back into the hole. I see people doing good deeds but yet with a motive which isn't good. I see people who speaks nonsensical stuff and people learning from them. I see people wanting to be unique and special but kept failing exams and hating studies because they fail to realize they need the foundation in order to be special.
I can find all these people in my friends, school, church and even extended friends. The vexing problem is how do I help them? But I seriously detest point number two most of the times.
*************************
Created at 7:27 PM
*************************
| Monday, March 21, 2011
I know I'm not the same My life You've changed And I wanna be with You I wanna be with You
*************************
Created at 12:55 AM
*************************
| Saturday, March 19, 2011
The guilt is eating me up badly
*************************
Created at 8:18 PM
*************************
| Sunday, March 13, 2011
Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the earthquake victims of Japan and also for those who have lost their homes in the Tsunami
*************************
Created at 2:35 PM
*************************
| Tuesday, March 01, 2011
I can't wait for Friday to come. Finish up Business Finance test and submit my Employment Relations essay.
I have always asked how it was like to be doing what the adults do. And now I keep feeling what will it feel like if I did what the teens are doing when I was at their age. Though certainly silly as some of their activities may seem, well at least they had fun yeah?
A person can't have everything can he? Maybe I'm too engrossed in my conviction therefore I can only imagine what it would be like. Like I always say, there must be a reason why those people enjoy the things that I believe is not my cup of tea.
For example, smoking. I will never ever try a cigarette. Not even for social reasons or to show that person "hey! I can smoke but I don't want." I'm not against the smokers nor do I like to be in their immediate surroundings for too long and that's me. I may sound obstinate but I'm proud at times, at my own conviction. Of course I can only imagine why people likes it.
Shisha also. I've heard reason that it is a good time for bond, something to enjoy together. Again, I can only imagine. I wouldn't want to try since I perceive it to be not something good.
Come on, how many of the night activities in Singapore are good for you as a whole? Not a lot. I'm not persecuting anyone but open up and think about it. Even supper is bad for my health =(
Well, trust me on this, when you grow even older and stop doing the things you are doing now (even for myself), look back and you will find how silly you were. The you now will think and feel that you have finally found the answer to your life but sadly not possible.
I was really silly when I was in poly hahaha. Even more when during Secondary. Maybe even now.
*************************
Created at 8:16 PM
*************************
December 2005[x] January 2006[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x] February 2007[x] March 2007[x] April 2007[x] May 2007[x] June 2007[x] July 2007[x] August 2007[x] September 2007[x] October 2007[x] November 2007[x] December 2007[x] January 2008[x] February 2008[x] March 2008[x] April 2008[x] May 2008[x] June 2008[x] July 2008[x] August 2008[x] September 2008[x] October 2008[x] November 2008[x] December 2008[x] January 2009[x] February 2009[x] March 2009[x] April 2009[x] May 2009[x] June 2009[x] July 2009[x] November 2009[x] December 2009[x] January 2010[x] February 2010[x] March 2010[x] April 2010[x] May 2010[x] June 2010[x] July 2010[x] November 2010[x] December 2010[x] January 2011[x] February 2011[x] March 2011[x] April 2011[x] May 2011[x] June 2011[x]
